How to Talk to Your Family About Racism on Thanksgiving

Harpers Bazaar

RACHEL ELIZABETH CARGLE
Illustration by Erin Lux
November 19, 2019

"As America sits down to give thanks for a country founded on the pain of many, we can't dismiss the irony of what is being celebrated."

Toxic ideologies often start around family dinner tables. It's not just an uncle saying a racist joke, or a grandmother determining her xenophobic ideas as “a part of her time.” These comments seep into how we make decisions in voting booths, how judges rule in their chambers, how teachers guide students in school classrooms, how employment decisions are made, and how police react in high-stakes situations.

After a year of relentless atrocities that don’t always make for easy conversation at the dinner table, it's important to make Thanksgiving preparations beyond the tablescape and the menu. This year, I want you to prepare for something a little more nuanced than stuffing or cranberry sauce: I want you to prepare to rock the family boat, with important discussions that stretch beyond the surface of “How's the weather?” and “Who are you dating these days?” So, I'm coming to you with a guide that should push you beyond apathy, and instead, teach you how to be a part of the solution. As Angela Davis reminds us, it is not enough to not be racist. You have to be anti-racist, and if you are not actively being part of the solution, then you are a part of the problem. So here is some language to help you navigate Thanksgiving day dinner.